As you know from my last post I found Vegas tough, both mentally & physically. When I came home I struggled to return back to 'reality' I couldn't seem to figure out what reality was. I hated myself, I hated work, I hated people & I hated bowling. I was struggling to face going out in public and found myself having a long talk with my GP.
I bowled for England in the Triple Crown 2 weeks after returning home and it was a very successful trip for England but I still wasn't comfortable being out, having people watch me. I constantly felt like I was being judged.
I was kinda ashamed and didn't want to admit that I was depressed and struggling with anxiety. I saw my GP a few times and she helped me come to terms with what she called performance related depression. I quickly realised, with the help of family & friends, that it was nothing to be ashamed of and started to fight to get my life back.
After much debate with myself, I decided to bowl the 3 remaining tournaments of the year, I'd already agreed to play with someone in the 2 doubles events and the other was the English Open, which I feel should be supported by the top players in the sport to help get bowling the recognition it deserves.
The tournaments went OK and by the time I played the English Open in November, I was feeling the fight & passion return.
Bowling wise I've had a break since then. It's been kinda nice to have some time off and really give myself time to think about what I want from the game and my life in general.
It's also given me time to set up work through Every Name Counts. I started creating Scrabble Art for friends last Christmas and took on a few more commissions throughout the year. After Vegas I decided life was too short to work doing something you didn't enjoy and so decided to quit my job with Aviva & set up properly with Every Name Counts.
It's been tough but I have built up a very lovely & loyal customer base. I get to work at the studio with my Mum and be as creative as I like. If you don't already - go & 'like' my page on Facebook www.facebook.com/ENCframes :) thank you muchly!
Here's a peek of some of the little beauties I get to create :)
Bowling: Practice - ALOT! Team England will be selecting the teams for the European Championships very soon and the qualifying structure has changed for this year. We'll now be playing trials over 3 weekend throughout the year. It'll be tough and no room for errors so really need to be at the top of my game. Luckily I have access to & support from Powerplay ProShop plus I'll be having some lessons with Jon Zadel.
I want to bowl again, I want to win. It's nice to feel like that and I'm looking forward to working hard for it in 2014!
Life: Really work hard to turn Every Name Counts into the success I know it can be.
Spend every spare minute with my loved ones. Life really is too short and you never know when it's gonna be your last day. I'm gonna make sure I appreciate every single person that means something to me & enjoy each day as if it's my last.
I hope you've all had a lovely Christmas & I wish every single one of you a fabulous 2014!
If you want it, go get it.
Much Love,
J xXx
